I cannot write about you

Not because I can’t

but because I cannot

the thought of it

the thought of it stops

as soon as it starts

almost as if my body

wanted you gone

which you are 

but you are not

the smell lingers

however imagined

and the sound

that sound

the sound of your voice 

when you tell me I’m not

but I am, but I am not

you say love isn’t me

but you haunt me

in every single ache

in every single dream

like you said you would

and the blood, the blood

you made me see

I cannot write about you

but I can write about me

the threats, the fear

The times I couldn’t flee 

and the rain outside

I remember it clear

every single drop

amplified to drown 

the screams

I cannot write about you

Not because I can’t 

but because I cannot